My blog DATE ME in Chicago!
I will start with a few tricks at...
How to live and be successfull at it:
I mean life is short, you always wants the best for yourself, and if you deny that there is definitely something wrong with you... I usually never say no to any proposition, it's celebrating opportunities in work and in love or rather in DATING...
so to start at the beginning.
I am Noemi, almost ... years old. Thanks to ShPieL and my mantra "how to live and be succesfull at it" I got my workvisa, left Belgium and got a 5 week run at Theater WIT (www.theaterwit.org) for two of my shows.
Remember living the fast life means experiencing blows and highs and never choosing the easy way, but at least it means you feel alive!
And by the way it's not because you hear `sucks` in succesfull that it means you have to give any blowjobs, really you dont!
So begin at the beginning and don't miss a step:
How to move to America and be succesfull at it:
First thing one should always check when moving from one continent to the next is
1. When checking in and paying for overweight luggage at the airport, ( shoes, make up,vibrator, hairdryer, epilator) make sure the stewardess at the desk actually returns your credit card.
Didn t follow that rule, basically just created this rule.
Check : have they given me back my credit card?
Answer : NOPE...
How to live without a visa card and being succesfull at it: ... coming up next!
How to get an upgrade in a full plane and be succesfull at it:
Something one should try everytime you are taking a plane is get a better seat than the one you booked without paying extra.
How? Be nice from the beginning to all stewardess on the plane, especially the older female ones, they have a maternal feel and will see in you the young, pretty, polite daughter they never had.
Smile and start with an apology, "Sorry I know this will not be easy, I heard it was a full flight but, I suffer claustrophobia. Could you move me to an aisle or window seat, because I get nervous and panicked when cramped between two other passengers."
If you really wanna play the game, and get a bussiness class upgrade, you have to wait till you are already flying for a while (this only works on long distance flights) go stand at the toilets, and look miserable, when the hostess comes up to you, tell her you ate something at the airport that makes you feel real sick, shiver a little, say it s going to be ok (they think you're being brave and their respect will go up) and they will get you a better relaxed seat, and if you're- lucky oxygen bottles, way better than wine to get a high!
How to get through customs and be succesfull at it:
When arriving in the United States make sure one pees before getting into the customs line. Once in the line one doesn't want to give up one's space and those lines can take for-ever! Be nice, play dumb, no smart ass remarks here and absolutely no sense of humor what so ever.
How to be picked up at the airport and be succesfull at it ...when your phone doesn't work:
Have a working phone to connect with the friend that picks you up ( "pick up" as in really picking up) (How to be "picked up, picked up" and be succesfull at it coming to a blog near you soon)
If you realize your phone doesn't work, and you're out of quarters don't panic. Look around and find a nice looking male, someone you would trust and explain your phone problem and ask if you could use his for just a second... Usually they do and if your real lucky they might invite you for coffee at the airport while you wait for your friend to find the right terminal you're at. BUT DON'T LET THEM GIVE YOU RIDE because you want to be succesfull at actually staying alive...
Coming up Next:
*how to occupy Wall street and be succesfull at it
*how to be rehearsing DATE ME in the Lower East side and be succesfull at it
*how to get your apple computer fixed when you didn t have a date at the apple store and be succesfull at it
*how to have a date with a married man and be succesfull at it
*how to go back to the hotelroom of a married man not sleep with him and be succesfull at it
*how to be broken up with during a romantic weekend in Barcelona and be succesfull at it
